


Don't Even Think About It, Harrington

by PepperRiley



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-23 04:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14927313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperRiley/pseuds/PepperRiley
Summary: Jim Hopper's long lost daughter, Amy Spencer, arrives, bringing hope and trouble. It isn't long before Steve Harrington tries to do the same.(This is a requested fic)





	1. I Think You're My Dad

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be a one-shot request. The request is as follows: 
> 
> "I'd like to request a story where Steve takes Hopper's oldest daughter to the prom for their first official date. As Steve waits for them to finish up, Hopper, El, and the rest of the party are making Steve nervous as they give him the talk."
> 
> I went overboard on backstory and it's going to be a few chapters long! Enjoy!

            The last year had been a whirlwind for Jim Hopper, he’d gone from the heartbroken, defensive shell of a man longing for the days he was a father to his sweet daughter Sarah, to a beaming Papa Bear. Now, he had two daughters, his life was upside down, and he couldn’t be happier.

 

            Jane came into his life by a twist of fate that was both a nightmare and a miracle and he was trying his best to do right by her. He rented a bigger place, a place more suitable to raise a family, and he kept her out of harm’s way and the public eye as much as he reasonably could.

            The ink had no sooner dried on her fake birth certificate when a knock rapped on the door that mid-December.

            Jim looked through the peephole, as always, and saw a young woman swaying nervously on his doorstep. He immediately opened the door.

            “Are you alright, Miss?”

            “Jim Hopper?” She was apprehensive.

            “Yes, can I help you?”

            Tears welled up in her eyes. “I think you’re my dad.”

            Before he had a chance to process, before he let himself ask a question, he grabbed her and hugged her.

            That was the thing about Jim, he wanted to be a father, and he’d parent any kid that ran across his lawn, whether they wanted him to or not. And he was bound to fuck up, a lot. But he was going to be there.

            As he hugged her, any doubts he had drifted from his mind. Holding this girl, he just knew. He brought her inside as she cried against him.

 

            She sat at his kitchen table, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, as he dug through his freezer, looking for something to feed her. His eyes fell on the Eggos. Jane.

            Jane was over at Joyce Byer’s, playing Atari with Will Byers and Mike Wheeler. Jane didn’t like to share. She was very territorial and suspicious. This was going to be difficult. He should call Joyce and get her advice. She was a ferocious, incredible mom, and she’d know what to do. That and he was sweet on her. But first, he wanted to hear this girl out.

            He slid a plate of waffles in front of her and sat across the table.

            “Hey, why don’t you tell me your name?”

            “Amy. Amy Spencer.” Spencer. This girl’s mom was Evelyn Spencer. She and Hopper definitely knew each other once upon a time. Nineteen years ago to be exact. Eighteen since he’d last seen her.

            “Evie your mom?”

            She sniffled. “She was.”

            Jim’s heart buckled. He had loved Evelyn, however briefly, then he broke her heart, and she left. And she’d had a daughter.

            “What happened?”

            “Cancer.” As if that hadn’t taken enough from the Hoppers.

            He reached a hand across the table and held it palm up, letting her make the choice to take it. She slid her small hand in his and his fingers engulfed it, holding it tight. “I’m so sorry, Amy.” He rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. “I didn’t know.”

            “She didn’t want you to.”

            “Did you know about me?”

            “Not until the end. I didn’t really have a step-dad or anything so when she went-“ She started to cry again.

            Jim came around the table and pulled a chair close. He opened his arms, inviting her to cry against him. She took the invitation and let herself be held to his chest. “Take your time.”

            “-when she went I had no parents.”

            “You do now, if you chose.” Jim didn’t want her to leave, but he wasn’t going to force her to stay, either.

            “What about your family?”

            “Well, that’s a little complicated. You’d have a sister and she’s a bit of a handful.”

            “I like her already.”

 

            Jane took things surprisingly well. She had recently learned to share the boys with Max Mayfield and it helped her realize that others receiving love wouldn’t detract from how much they loved her. She was growing and she was letting her circle grow with her. It was an entirely new world having people to trust and having people take care of her. Now that she was finding them, she wanted to find more, so she let Amy into her life. Tentatively at first, but attached herself to her quickly when Amy’s easy going, natural caretaking instincts kicked in.

            Amy and Evelyn were each other’s world and they’d taken care of each other their whole lives, until Amy was the only one taking care of Evelyn. And then Amy was the only one.

            When Jim opened up to Amy about Sarah, the two of them held each other and wept for hours. When Jim explained Jane, Amy wanted to look after her immediately. It helped her recover and it helped her belong. Jane loved being the centre of attention for the right reasons and she loved her new sister. These three were ready to heal together and above all things, to love each other.

 

            Amy had only been with them for a few days when Jim found the two of them asleep on the couch, legs strewn over each other, drooling into opposite ends of the sofa, Jane having stolen the blanket. He knew then his life would never be more perfect. He brought Amy a blanket, retired to the armchair in front of the television and he cried. His heart was too full.

 

*

            Amy hadn’t been a Hopper more than a week when five rambunctious kids adopted her as their own. She was Jane’s big sister, so she was their big sister. And she should meet Steve, at least that’s what Dustin Henderson thought.

 

            The Party found themselves playing Dungeons & Dragons at Jane’s more and more because Mike wanted his girlfriend to play and her father wanted to keep an eye on her. Not that they minded, Jim tried to be scary, but he always had the best snacks, and the warmest hugs. His heart was full from hearing his house filled with kids laughing and yelling and Amy seemed much more settled now that she had an instant family.

            Then Steve Harrington showed up.

            Dustin had twisted Steve’s arm into learning D&D, leaving out any mention of Hopper’s oldest daughter, and Steve found himself tagging along for what he assumed was going to be his saddest New Years Eve ever.

            Steve followed Dustin up the walk and knocked on the door, Amy swung it open. Steve was immediately disarmed. She had wild blue eyes, just like her father, beautiful, full lips, and long dark hair. He hadn’t felt his heart skip like this since Nancy had left him.

            She stared at this remarkably handsome boy standing on her father’s porch and her heart raced. A few too many beats had clicked by for the silence to be anything other than awkward.

            Dustin stood between the two, grinning like an idiot. He elbowed Steve. “Steve, this is Amy.”

            “Hi,” he managed.

            “Hi.”

            Dustin rolled his eyes and pushed past her into the house.

            Steve stepped inside, collecting himself, and running a hand through his hair. “Amy, I haven’t seen you around before.”

            “I sort of just got here. I don’t start class until after the break.”

            “Cool. How do you know everyone?”

            “Jim’s my dad.”

            Steve’s heart jumped into his throat, this girl was officially off limits. There was no way he was going to try and get around the Chief’s daughter. “Your dad?”

            “Steve!” Dustin bellowed from the kitchen table.

            “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you sometime.” She squeezed his upper arm and then brushed past him and settled on the couch, taking up the remote, and happily ignoring the hollering that had already begun behind her in the kitchen. It was her favourite sound, it was the sound of her new family.

            Steve couldn’t stop stealing glances at her as he walked past the couch and directly into Hopper who was coming out of the kitchen. Jim’s expression was none too pleased. “Don’t even think about it, Harrington.”

            “I wasn’t thinking anything,” he said, a smack too defensively.

            “That’s probably true, because you’d have to be real fucking stupid to even consider it.”

            Jim gave him a clap on the shoulder that was equal parts threatening and affectionate. Jim liked Steve, but he loved his daughters a hell of a lot more. Which is why Mike was sitting across the table from Jane, not beside her.

            “I’ll be upstairs if you kids need me. Amy, you’re in charge.”

            “Yeah, yeah, Dad.” She waved him off and he climbed the steps, disappearing from view.

 

            Amy found herself peeking over the back of the couch at Steve while The Party guided him through his very first campaign. He caught her eye and smiled as Dustin was screaming at him.

            “Goddammit! Now we’re screwed. Are you paying attention at all, Steve?”

            Hearing his name brought him back to reality. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry.”

            “A lot of good sorry does,” Lucas grumbled.

            “How come Max isn’t taking any shit? She’s just as bad as me,” Steve lamented.

            “She’s a lot prettier than you,” Lucas added.

            Max grinned.

            “I dunno,” Amy said, giving Steve a smile that spelled troublemaker. She walked over to the table. “Can I play?” She leaned over the back of Steve’s chair and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. She was going to be a problem.

            Mike looked at her in horror, she was going to mess up his entire game. “No! We can’t just have you join right now, we’ve already started. You know, like an hour ago.”

            Jane huffed, she didn’t really understand the game, but Mike wanted Amy to leave, so she should. “Amy, go away. You’re ruining the game.”

            Amy knew when Jane was in a mood she better back off. “Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just make myself some waffles and watch TV, then.”

            “Eggos?” Jane looked at her expectantly.

            Mike was getting impatient. “Is anyone going to play?!”

            Dustin, Lucas, Max, and Will all shouted, “Yes!”

           

            Steve gave up about two hours in when Dustin had had enough of his noncompliance. He wandered over to the couch where Amy was settled under an afghan, channel surfing.

            “Mind if I sit?”

            She pulled her knees to her chest, leaving him a space on the couch. “By all means.”

            “So, Hop’s your dad, huh?” he asked, taking a seat.

            “Yep.”

            He looked at her, waiting for the rest of the story.

            She sat up. “You wanna hear my tragic backstory? We just met.”

            “I’ve got time.”

            “You’ve got ulterior motives. I’ve met plenty of boys like you.” She winked and turned her attention back to the TV.

            He laughed. “Here’s the thing, though.”

            She faced him once again. “What’s that?”

            “You haven’t.” He bounced his eyebrows and let a mischievous grin curl on his lips. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your show.” He stood and wandered back to the kitchen to check on the progress of the game he’d abandoned to shamelessly flirt with disaster.

           

            At ten, Steve rounded up The Party and they all took their time to get their coats and hats on before leaving.

            Amy stood with them in the front landing, helping them get their belongings sorted. “It’s real nice of you to drive everyone home,” she said to Steve.

            “Well, someone has to look out for these shitheads.” He did a headcount. Max was staying the night with Jane, but one of the boys was missing. “Where the hell is Mike?”

            “Probably kissing Jane,” Will said.

            “Mike and Jane sittin’ in a tree -” Dustin started to sing, Will and Lucas joining in, “-K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

            “They better not be!” Jim bellowed from the top of the stairs.

            “Wheeler! Move your ass, curfew is in fifteen.” Steve needed to get a handle on this situation.

            “Coming!” Mike hollered.

            Mike rounded the corner, as Lucas disappeared around it to go say goodbye to Max.

            “Are you kidding me? Sinclair, no!” Lucas was long gone. Steve sighed, both of his hands on his hips.

            Amy thought this frazzled Mother Hen was worth knowing. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, “come back at midnight.”

            He looked at her, curious and excited. “Ok.”

           

            Eventually, Steve had got The Party home safely and he anxiously killed time until the clock nearly struck midnight. He had no idea what Amy wanted, but he wasn’t going to miss it. He pulled up in front of Jim’s and hurried across the snow covered sidewalk up to the front door. Before he had a chance to knock, Amy swept out onto the porch and held a finger to his lips. “Shhh, my Dad doesn’t know you’re here.”

            “What am I doing here?” he whispered.

            She let a hand drift into his hair and pulled his face to hers, kissing him. He didn’t have time to think as he brought his hands to her waist and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

            She stepped back, taking his breath with her. “Happy New Year, Steve. Now get going before my Dad sees you.” She slipped back inside and closed the door.

            He got back in his car and let reality wash over him. He just kissed the Chief’s daughter. He was in such deep shit.


	2. You Have No Idea

 

            Two weeks clicked by and classes resumed.

            Steve was a perfect mix of delighted and terrified to see Amy sweep into his first period English class. She took her seat in the desk next to him. “Fancy seeing you here, Harrington.”

            Her smile was always laced with the promises of adventure and mischief. He wanted it against his mouth again. It was all he’d thought about for the last two weeks.

            He returned the smile. “Try not to get too excited.”

            “Believe me, I won’t.” There was a purr in her voice that told him not to fret, she’d been thinking about it, too.

            “Ouch,” he chuckled.

           

            Class crawled by and he found himself watching her thoughtlessly chew on her pencil, casually brush her hair behind her ear, or haughtily drag her eraser across her loose leaf. He wondered what she was working on with such rapt attention, everyone else was only reading the chapter, something he should have been doing.

            The longer he looked, the more glances he shot her, and the lustier his thoughts, led him to consider just how stupid he was being. He could not cross the line with this girl again. He didn’t need to die before graduation. Regardless, he couldn’t stop peeking at her.

            The bell rang and she passed him the sheet of paper she’d spent so much time on. She’d doodled a picture of him watching her. “You’re not subtle, Steve. Walk me to my next class.”

            He couldn’t believe how ballsy she was, he was completely smitten. “Yeah, sure.”

            “It wasn’t a question.” She smirked. “I have no idea where I’m going.”

            He took the class schedule from her hands and gave it the once over. “Don’t worry, I know exactly where this is.” He pressed a hand to the small of her back and guided her out of the classroom.

           

            He led her outside, under the bleachers, and pushed her up against the fence. They wasted no time letting their tongues meet and their hands intertwine. Steve knew he was going to falter anyway, so why dawdle before jumping in feet first?

            They were caught almost immediately by a passing teacher, who promptly marched them to the principal’s office.

 

            “Miss Spencer, isn’t this your first day?” Principal Hendricks asked, looking over his glasses at the two teenagers seated before him.

            “Yes, so I was hoping maybe you wouldn’t have to call my dad? We could pretend this never happened and I won’t do it again?”

            He let out a small laugh and turned his attention to the boy sweating bullets in the chair beside her. “Mr. Harrington, I’ve seen enough of you to last a lifetime, yet here you are, corrupting new students.” He looked down at Amy’s file, sitting open before him. “Oh, and the Chief of Police’s daughter, no less.”

            “I’m really sorry Mr. Hendricks, it won’t happen again. I swear.”

            “It won’t?” Amy asked, playfully.

            “Well, at least not at school,” he offered, shooting her a sly smile. She was a pretty little demon and he couldn’t help himself. Steve used to think he could go through girls, but it was always girls that went through him. They’d be the death of him.

            Principal Hendricks grunted. “You two are in trouble, you realize this, yes?” He closed Amy’s file. “Amy, I’m calling your father. Steve, I have yours on speed dial, but that doesn’t seem to deter you, so you can tell Chief Hopper what you did as punishment instead.”

            “No! Oh my God, can you just suspend me?”

            “No.” Principal Hendricks picked up his phone and dialled Hawkins’ Police Station.

            Flo answered, “Hello, Hawkins Police, how can I direct your call?”

            “Good morning, is Chief Hopper available? It’s his daughter’s principal and there’s something we need to discuss.”

 

            Jim was on the phone in a matter of seconds. “Amy, is everything alright?”

            “Everything is fine, Chief,” Principal Hendricks assured. “She’s just gotten herself into a little bit of trouble. Here, I’ll allow Mr. Harrington to explain.” He passed Steve the phone over the desk. Steve stared at it a beat before Principal Hendricks emphatically shook it at him, urging him to take it. As he closed his fingers around it, he felt the blood drain from his body.

            “Hi, Hop. It’s Steve.” Steve was so nervous he thought he might die, but somehow thought if he addressed him casually he’d be seen as less of a threat. It wasn’t working.

            “What did you do?”

            “Are you having a good day?” Steve attempted.

            “Steve.”

            “Uh, ok, well here’s the thing.”

            “Get to it, Harrington.” He could practically hear Jim clenching his teeth.

            Steve sighed, trying to savour his final moments on Earth. “Amy and I might have, just a little bit, like, kissed and maybe we got caught doing that instead of being in class?”

            “Are you out of your mind?!” Both Amy and Principal Hendricks could hear Jim clearly by this point.

            “I think so, yes.”

            Amy didn’t know why, but watching him sweat was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. She was glad that he was the one getting her into hot water.

            “What did I tell you?”

            “You’ve told me a lot of things, it’s hard to keep them all straight.” Steve was incredible at doubling down.

            “I told you specifically not to even _think_ about Amy.”

            “You know, I am remembering that now and I won’t do that anymore.”

            “You’re goddamn right you won’t. Hand the phone to Amy.”

            He passed her the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

            She brought the receiver to her ear. “Dad?”

            “Amy Marilyn Spencer, you are grounded.”

            “Am I twelve?” She was appalled.

            “Two weeks. Home straight after school. No friends. No TV. No nothing!” He disconnected.

 

            The next day at school Jonathan Byers caught up with Steve in the hall. “Steve, man. Hopper’s on the warpath.”

            “What do you mean?” Steve was instantly anxious.

            “He was over talking to my mom last night about Amy and he cornered me and told me if I see you around her he’s going to twist it out of me. I don’t want to be dragged into this. He’s gonna kill you.”

            “You’d rat on me, Byers? After all I’ve done for you?”

            Jonathan scoffed and then continued. “No, I wouldn’t, at least I wouldn’t mean to, but you know Hop. Just don’t get caught and leave me out of it.”

            Jonathan headed to class.

 

            Steve sat across from Amy at lunch. “Your dad has spies out now.”

            “I’ve heard, not to mention my little sister can _find_ people and she’s easy to bribe. Dad practically has her on payroll right now, but I think I can get her on my side.” She tore the seal off of her pudding and dug in. “So, give me a few days to get her on my team and then maybe we can breathe easy.”

            “Ha! As if.”

            She pointed her spoon at him. “What’s the matter, Harrington. You scared?”

            “Yes, isn’t that obvious?”

            “Here I thought you were some kind of hero, the way the kids talk about you.” She looked past him, feigning indifference. “It’s too bad, really, that you’re just another frightened little boy.”

            He narrowed his eyes at her. He knew she was baiting him, but he couldn’t resist the hook. “I never said I was going to back down. So you better be careful, Amy, because you very well may have met your match.”

            She ran her foot up his leg. “God, I hope so.”

            He stared after her as she got up and cleared her tray. She didn’t even bother to look back at him as she swept out of the lunch room, she knew he was watching.

 

            That night Steve sat at home, not even bothering to crack a textbook, he already knew he couldn’t concentrate, so he thought he might as well go court danger.  
            Steve had plenty of experience climbing through girl’s windows, but it would prove to be much easier to slip past Ted and Karen Wheeler than it would be to get anything over on Jim Hopper.

            Amy laid on her stomach on her bed, flipping through a magazine, suffering through her TV free existence, when she heard a light rapping on her window. She looked up to see Steve waving at her from the other side of the pane. She hurried to her door, locking it, and flew to the window.

            She was excited to see him, but she didn’t think he was this cavalier. She had met her match.

            “Steve, are you nuts?” she whispered.

            “Hurry up and let me in, it’s freezing out here.”

            She slid the window open and he tumbled inside, making far too much noise.

            “What are you doing here? My Dad will kill you.”

            “I like you and I wanted to see you.” His eyes were full of promise and she too, was completely smitten. “Don’t worry, he won’t know, I’m real sneaky.” He held her at the waist.

            “You’re an idiot.” She kissed him.

            “So I’ve been told.” He kissed her back and steered her towards the bed, climbing over top of her, but before he had the chance to kiss her again there was a knock on the door, followed by the rattling of the doorknob.

            “Amy?” It was Jim. “Two things: why is this door locked and why is Harrington’s car in the alley?”

            She looked up at Steve, wide-eyed, and whispered, “you absolute moron.” She shoved him off and pushed him into her closet.

            She opened her door, trying to play it cool. “I have no idea.”

            Jim poked his head in the room and then stepped inside, she hadn’t closed the window. “You’re going to continue to have no idea.” He glared at the white sliding doors he was sure that boy with a death wish was hiding behind. “If Steve is in your closet he has thirty seconds to leave before I check myself and I snap his neck.” Jim had been caught decades ago smoking with Joyce Byers under the very same bleachers Amy and Steve had visited. He knew what kind of trouble teenagers liked to get into, but he was going to let them have this one.

            The closet doors creaked open. “Oops. This isn’t where I parked my car.” He tried to tiptoe past Jim, who followed him into the hallway and grabbed him by the back of the neck.

            “You must be completely brain dead.”

            “I’m really sorry.”

            “You will be. If I catch you pulling this shit one more time, you’re going to wish you had died in those tunnels. You hear me?”

            “Yes, sir.”

            “Stay away from my daughter, Steve.”

            “I will.” He slunk down the stairs, stopping at the landing. “Do you mind if I still play D&D on Sunday?”

            “GET!”

           

            Steve didn’t try to sneak into Amy’s room again after that. Instead, she planned to sneak out. She had won Jane over, who solemnly swore to keep her sister’s secrets in return for Mike being allowed over when Jim wasn’t home.

            “Friends don’t lie,” Jane had said.

            “Yeah, but daughters do. You keep my secret and I keep yours. It’s like a sister thing. Our special thing.” Amy kissed the tip of her finger and pressed it to the tip of Jane’s nose.

            Jane considered this, what trouble could Amy really be getting into and why wasn’t Mike allowed over more often? She agreed and ate the plate of Eggos Amy had lovingly prepared for her.

 

            When Amy was finally ungrounded she told her dad she was off to study at a friend’s house. Her good friend Steve and his house, the back of his BMW.

            He parked down the block and waited for her. She slid inside the passenger seat and right into his heart. They parked on an isolated road and their lips crashed together in the backseat. Steve kept it as respectful as making out with the Chief’s daughter in the back of his car could be. He never tried to pull her top off, he never tried to unzip her pants. He wanted to, but he wanted to know her more.

            “Amy,” he whispered.

            “What, Steve?”

            He sat up and pulled her to his chest. “Do you think there’s any way we can wear your dad down? I want to take you out. I want to hold your hand at school.”

            “I don’t know, maybe if we would have approached this differently. Or maybe if it wasn’t you.”

            “Why? What did I do?”

            “Steve,’ her tone was dry. “Weren’t you involved in spray painting not so nice things about Nancy Wheeler on The Hawk’s marquee?”

            “I washed it off.”

            “Your reputation is a little tarnished.”

            “Yeah, it is, but I’m not like that anymore. Your dad of all people should know that. I helped him save the goddamn town.”

            “You did and that’s why he hasn’t murdered you. He thinks you’re a good guy, but he thinks you’re a bad boy.”

            “I-I’m not.” Steve felt defeated. He wished he would have grown up a little sooner.

            “I don’t know what to tell you, but fooling around with me in the back of your car isn’t helping your case.”

            “Well, I’m not going to stop, especially if it’s all I’m going to get.” He kissed the top of her head.

            She held his hand and he squeezed hers tight. “Do you really have a baseball bat full of nails?”

            He rested his chin on the top of her head, having no idea how she’d take it. “I sure do.”

            “That’s pretty hot.”

            He laughed. “You’re going to get me in so much shit, aren’t you?”

            “You have no idea.”

 

            Steve and Amy wouldn’t be seen together at school, at least not romantically, in case Jonathan or any number of unknown spies saw. It didn't stop him from passing her sweet notes in class. By the end of February she had a shoebox full of them. 

            Steve hated not being able to be with her and he’d always try to turn making out in his car into something special. He’d make and play her mix tapes, sometimes they’d play cards, other times they’d just talk. He loved talking with her. He just loved being around her. She was so calming, yet so exciting.

            Every once in awhile he’d play D&D with The Party over at Jim’s, but Jim was never out on weekends that Steve played, so Amy and Steve had to be on their best behaviour. Sometimes she’d wait outside the bathroom and sneak a kiss away from prying eyes.

            It was never enough.


	3. He's Just a Boy

 

            Finally, after a month of stolen kisses, hidden embraces, and scribbled confessions of yearning, there was a weekend in mid-March when the stars aligned and not only were Steve’s parents out of town, but Jim was working late.

            He waited down the block for Amy. Once she was safely in his car they drove to his place to have some much needed alone time. He’d rented a few movies and tried to cook her dinner, which was a disaster, so he threw it out and ordered a pizza.

            They snuggled on the couch and Amy said, “I wish you were my boyfriend.”

            His heart swelled. “I am.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “But only you and I know it.”

            “Really?” She looked up and smiled at him.

            “If you’ll have me.”

            Amy was overwhelmed, just months ago her entire life was taken from her. She was scared, she was heartbroken, and she was alone. Now she had a father, a sister, a family of shouting dorks, and a boyfriend. A really sweet, attentive, albeit a little foolish, boyfriend. She was finally starting to feel as whole as she could be without her mother.

            “I would have you in a heartbeat, Steve.”

 

            That night Steve made the mistake of taking the Chief’s daughter up to his bedroom. Or more accurately, she led him upstairs by his heart and by his hand, he never would have said ‘no’. He wasn’t her first, but he was certainly her best. The same could be said for Amy. Steve forgot how it felt to have his heart broken, because Amy had wrapped herself around it and reminded him how it felt to be wanted.

            He laid on his back, an arm wrapped around her, and her head on his chest. He lightly rubbed her upper arm with his fingertips.

            “Tell me your tragic backstory, Aims.”

            Steve knew her mother had passed away, but she’d never said much else on the matter. She kept these things pretty close to her chest, trying to move on. She felt safe with Steve though, there was something about him. The same something that made him the type of person to put himself in harm’s way to protect the kids. He was the most comforting person she’d ever nestled against and she wanted to talk to him.

            “Well, as you know, my mom died about six months ago.”

            “Evelyn.” Steve remembered and he said it softly. Amy smiled. She liked hearing him say her name. He’d never meet her, but she hoped he would know her, as best as he could.

            “Yeah. She was really great.” She let the tears come, but it didn’t stop her from continuing, “she raised me by herself and it was the two of us against the world, really. She was my best friend.”

            “I’m sorry, Amy.”

            “Don’t be. I’m glad she was mine. I wouldn’t trade the eighteen years I had with her for a hundred years with any other mom.” She thought for a moment. “She’d like you.”

            “You think so?” Steve was honoured. 

            “I know so.”

            “I’d like her, too.”

            She snuggled even closer. “God, she loved my dad. I wanted to be upset with him, but he didn’t know. And he’s a really great dad. He took me in, no questions asked. I wish things could have been different, but I’m glad he’s my dad.”

            “Yeah, Hop’s great.” Steve sighed, “I wish he was my dad.”

            She laughed, “I don’t!”

            He couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, not now, obviously!”

            Amy was excited that Steve was her boyfriend, but young love always comes with its suspicions and fears. “Steve?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I’m really happy with my new family and I know the kids are, like, your family too. So, even though I want to be with you, if us being together could take that away from me-“

            “It won’t. I promise you. No matter what happens, I would never let my feelings for you take that away, ok?”

            She knew he meant it.

            “You’re a good boy, Steve.”

            “You’re a better girl, Amy.”

           

            Amy was practically floating by the time she got home and slipped in the door.

            She moved for the stairs when she heard a voice from the living room. “Amy, come sit.” She froze in her tracks. Her dad was supposed to be at work.

            She cowered into the living room and sat on the couch. Jane was already sitting, avoiding her eye. Jim stood in front of them. “Where have you been?”

            “I was studying.”

            “Bullshit. Try again.”

            “Jane?” she whispered to her.

            “I’m sorry, Amy,” Jane squeaked.

            “What about our special thing?”

            “Dad’s my friend, too.”

            Amy’s breathing faltered and she felt the tears brimming in her eyes.

            “Jane, you can go to bed,” Jim told her.

            She hurried to her room, feeling terrible for betraying her sister, feeling conflicted for lying to her father.

            “Amy, I have tried my best to keep you fed, clothed, sheltered, and above all things, safe and how do you repay me? By sneaking around with Steve Harrington.”

            “Dad, I don’t understand why I can’t have a boyfriend. Jane is thirteen and she has one!”

            “Jane is thirteen and has no idea what sex is, Amy!”

            “So I’m supposed to be a nun because you’re afraid I might sleep with someone?”

            “Amy! There are just so many things this family doesn’t need right now and worrying about you slinking off with some goddamn boy is one of them.”

            “I wouldn’t have to sneak around if you’d let me have a boyfriend like a normal teenager!” She stood.

            “It’s not going to be with someone you lied to me with! It’s not going to be Steve!”

            “It already is!”

            “Goddammit, Amy! Then why don’t you go live with him if you can’t handle it here?”

            She looked at him like she’d been slapped. Her father just threatened to turn her away. He could hear her heart shattering.

            “Oh no, Honey, I’m so sorry.” He reached for her.

            She recoiled, moving for the hall. “Maybe I will, Dad. Maybe I’ll find someone who wants to keep me.”

            “Amy, don’t walk away from me.”

            “Why? It’s what you did to mom.” She hurried up the stairs.

            He chased after her. “That’s so fucking unfair. You know it is.”

            She slammed her bedroom door and locked it. Jim pounded his hand against it, furious and unravelling. “You and your sister are brats! You’re both lying, ungrateful brats. I didn’t realize that the women in this house would rather throw away their family and their safety for pathetic boys!”

            Jim was spiralling. He was terrified and he wanted to keep both of these girls safe. He was going about it all wrong.

            He had very different fears for each of his daughters, and for Amy, it was that he didn't want her to end up pregnant and alone, just like her mother and he was projecting his own shortcomings onto Steve. That and Steve hadn’t always been a beacon of responsibility, but he had been a near cautionary tale of wasted potential.

            Jim also knew that Steve had a problem and that problem was girls. He didn’t want his daughter to be one of them. He was choosing to ignore how much Steve had grown over the last year and how fiercely and quickly Steve had made the choice to put his life on the line to save others, including Jane.

            But Jim Hopper wasn’t anything if not stubborn and he wasn’t about to let his daughter throw a fit to get her way. As if Jane destroying the cabin had taught him nothing.

            That night he fell asleep with his back up against Amy’s door, praying she’d let him in, Amy fell asleep crying into her pillow, and Jane didn’t sleep at all, she spent the night feeling like this was her fault.  

           

*

            Steve lit up when Amy walked into English that morning, but she avoided his gaze. He was puzzled, he’d expected her to be as excited to see him. He tried to pass her a note asking her what was wrong, but she didn’t take it. What did he do? The bell rang and he followed along behind her.

            “Aims, what’s up?”

            She stopped, people brushing past them, and he steered her against a row of lockers. He rubbed his hand up her arm. “What’s wrong?”

            “Steve, I can’t see you anymore,” her voice was so small.

            It was a punch in the gut and he was sure she could see his heart breaking. He wanted to walk away, he didn’t want her to see him try to keep it together, but he needed to know her reasons and if they’d confirm his suspicions. “Can I ask you why?”

            She was devastated to have to send away the boy she barely had the chance to have. “My dad found out I was sneaking out and you and I talked about what would happen if this affected my family and now it has. They’re all I have and I made Jane lie for me and my dad’s so upset.”

            It was the worst possible reason, there was no way he could stand in the way of Amy and her family. He wouldn’t. He brought a hand to her face. “Amy, I’m sorry that I screwed any of that up.”

            She placed her hand over his, keeping it to her cheek. “I know.”

            “I don’t want to be without you, but I understand,” his voice wavered, “I imagine it’s too late for me to try and talk to your dad?”

            “It wouldn’t be a good idea.”

            “Ok.” He began to move his hand from her cheek and she knew he was slipping away from her.

            “I’m sorry, Steve.”

            “Hey, no. Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” He left a final, small kiss on her lips and backed up. “I wish I could have taken you on a real date, but I’m really glad you were my secret girlfriend, Aims.”

            “I’m glad you were my secret boyfriend, Steve.” She let a tear roll down her cheek and he reached forward, wiping it away with his thumb. Then he turned and walked to class. He didn’t want to look back, he knew she was watching him.

 

*

            Amy went straight home after school, miserable and lonely. She was happy that when she came in, Jane came up to her and wrapped her arms around her waist.

            “Hey, kiddo.”

            “Did you have a good day at school?” Jane asked.

            “No,” Amy sighed. “Want a snack?

 

            Jane sat at the table, feeling sheepish and confused, while Amy made her a sandwich. She could feel the sadness radiating off of her sister. “Amy, I’m sorry.”

            “Oh, hey, it’s alright. I shouldn’t have asked you to lie.” Amy slid a PB&J in front of Jane and kissed the top of her head. “Eat up.”

            “You like Steve.” Jane poked at her sandwich, feeling too guilty to eat.

            “But I like you more and I’m sorry that I made you and dad fight.”

            “I like Steve,” Jane offered. “He’s nice.”

            Amy didn’t need to hear how nice he was, she already knew. “He’s just a boy,” she tried to convince herself. “A silly, stupid, handsome boy,” she trailed off and meandered to the living room to be hopelessly in love on the couch.

 

            And so it was for Steve, just as quickly as his heart had recovered, it was bruised once again. It had been painful to love someone who didn’t feel the same, but to love someone that wanted him that he couldn’t have was so much worse.

            He sat in his room, at his desk, trying to concentrate on not failing English, when he pulled out the picture Amy had drawn of him. He let himself sit with his sadness and ignored his homework a little longer.

            Steve was always the silver medal, he wasn’t the most popular guy in school anymore, he had never been Nancy’s first choice, and he could never compete with Amy’s family. He suddenly felt very alone. However, he knew what he needed to do. He needed to keep his promise to the girl he had to let get away.

 

*

            When Amy got to class the next day, she was heartbroken to see Steve had switched seats with someone across the room. She knew he hadn’t done it to be cruel. He’d moved to survive his heartache. Her's was going to eat her alive.

            He wished he could help himself, but he spent too much time looking back at her.

            “Mr. Harrington, eyes to the front.”

            “Sorry.”

            Amy couldn’t feel worse and she couldn’t miss him more.

 

            They both wanted to, but they didn’t talk that day. For the first time since classes had started, they avoided each other.

            Steve left at lunch and didn’t bother to come back to class. He went to see Jim.

           

            Steve showed up at the Police Station, Jim was getting a cup of coffee when he strolled in.

            “What are you doing here?”

            “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

            Jim squared his jaw and motioned for Steve to follow him to his office. Steve took a seat, feeling very small.

            “Steve-“

            “Hop, I didn’t come to ask you to forgive me or to try and win you over so I can date Amy. I came to apologize for anything I did that might have hurt your family, but please don’t be upset with her. She loves you guys and she needs you and, um, her and I liking each other shouldn’t have affected that.”

            Hopper was surprised, Steve had come to defend Amy.

            Steve looked to his feet. “I don’t understand what I did to be considered such a bad guy, but I think that’s part of the problem: that I don’t know what it is. I guess when I figure it out, maybe, eventually, I’ll be good enough for your daughter.”

            Steve stood and moved for the door. “She thought I was, though.” He didn’t say it to be a smartass, he’d said it to reassure himself. He continued through the doorway and left Jim alone with his thoughts.

 

 

            Jim didn’t get home until well after Jane and Amy were meant to be in bed. They were both grounded, which didn’t make much of a difference to Jane, who was still not allowed to go to school until things died down around Hawkins, but she wasn’t allowed to have The Party over for two weeks. She hated that. She hated it so much that she’d been giving Jim the silent treatment for the last two days. Amy didn’t bother to complain about it this time, but she was also giving him the silent treatment.

            He first went to check on Jane, she wasn’t in her room and he started to panic. He hurried up the stairs to Amy’s room and whipped open the door and they were both there, asleep in Amy’s bed.

            That day when Amy came home from school they’d complained about their father’s strict, unyielding, stubborn bullshit, ate a ton of candy, cried through at least two movies, and retired to bed together, happy to have someone to share being a teenage girl with.

            Jim stood at the door, watching the two of them sleep, wishing it was even a fraction as perfect as it had been in December. Wishing he could, for one minute, loosen his grip and let them have normalcy.

            He quietly closed the door and tiptoed down the stairs to the phone in the kitchen. He dialled Joyce.

            She answered, groggy, it was past eleven. “Hello?”

            “Joyce.”

            “Hop? It’s late.”

            “Did I wake you?”

            “No, I was up. What is it?” She was always up. Ever since Will had gone missing, she hadn’t slept through the night, even now that he was safe and sound down the hall.

            “I’m fucking everything up.” She heard his voice waver and knew he needed help.

            “I’m going to come over.”

 

            After Joyce shook her oldest son awake and made sure he was keeping an ear out for Will, she arrived at Jim’s.

            She made them a pot of coffee and he lit her cigarette. He took a seat at the table while she poured them both a cup. She handed him one and settled in one of the creaky wooden chairs.

            “Thanks.”

            “What’s going on?” She slid a hand over his.

            “I am so scared of letting anything happen to these girls.”

            No one on earth understood this better than Joyce Byers. “It’s hard. That’s all. You do the best you can and some days your best is terrible. I try every day to keep my family together, Hop.”

            “You do.”

            “So do you.”

            Jim looked at her, she was the most amazing woman he’d ever known. “You’re a goddamn dream, Joyce Byers.”

            “Stop it,” she took a sip of her coffee.

            Jim tamped out his cigarette and asked, “What do you think about Steve Harrington?”

            Joyce exhaled sharply, “I think a lot of things about him. Am I happy he and Jonathan knocked the shit out of each other last year? No. But he did step up for our kids and I don’t want to know what would have happened to them if Steve wasn’t there.”

            Jim frowned, deep in thought.

            “Amy still hung up on him?”

            “Christ. Yes.”

            “There are a lot worse boys than Steve Harrington.” Joyce considered this for a moment. “But I wouldn’t want him around my daughter either.”

            “Why?”

            “Oh, Jim, don’t be stupid,” Joyce laughed.

            She’d just confirmed his biggest fear.


	4. Caution Be Damned

            The next day, Steve tried his damndest not to turn around and failed miserably, but at least this time the teacher never caught him.

            When the bell rang Amy dropped a folded sheet of loose leaf on his desk and rushed out of the room before he had a chance to say anything. He unfolded it, expecting the worst.

            It was a drawing of him in profile, turning to look at her, underneath she’d written _You’re a good boy, Steve._ He didn’t think his heart could break any further.  
  
*  
            Jim came home to Amy and Jane laughing in the living room, but the minute they spotted him, they ceased their fun and grew so frosty that Jim might as well have left his jacket on.  
  
            “Girls,” he attempted.

            They both got up and went to Jane’s room.

            Jim couldn’t bring himself to be angry, he’d done enough damage the other night and knew it was best to let the girls have their feelings.  
            Above all things, Jim wanted the three of them to sit around the table and have dinner, even if they were currently seething with teenage hatred for him.

            He made dinner and stalked down the hall to Jane’s bedroom. “Jane, Amy, dinner’s ready. You don’t have to talk to me, but you have to eat, so let’s go.”

            There was no response, but he could hear them turn up the radio, so he knew they were still committed to the silent treatment. “If you both get up to the table, maybe you won’t be grounded as long. Maybe you can play D & D this weekend.” Jim wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t too proud to resort to bribery. It nearly always worked with Jane. He wasn’t sure about Amy.

            Jane opened the door. Amy glowered from behind her, but begrudgingly followed along behind.

             
            Amy pushed her food around her plate and decided if Jane was about to get her way, she might as well attempt to get something, too. “Dad?”

            “Yeah, Amy?” It was the first she’d spoken to him in the last two days and he was happy to hear her voice.

            “So, now that Jane gets to have The Party over, is it ok if I go to a party on Saturday?”

            “Who’s party?” Jim asked, suspiciously, mouth full of green beans.

            “Tina’s. She’s having a thing to celebrate the end of midterms. Everyone’s going and I don’t want to be a total loser.”  
  
            “Everyone. You mean Steve?”

            “I don’t know if he’s going.” She kept her eyes to her plate. “We haven’t been speaking,” her voice broke and Jim could tell she’d meant it. He let his guilt get the best of him and he caved.  
  
            “Home by midnight. I have to work, but Jane will tell me if you didn’t get home on time and going means you’re babysitting the kids on Sunday night for their campaign.”

            “Deal.”

            “Amy’s more fun anyway,” Jane added.

            Jim was taking shit from both sides, but at least his daughters were speaking to him again. He’d given in quicker than he’d expected, but it was worth it.  
  
*  
            The rest of the school week was difficult. Steve stopped turning around to look at Amy. He needed her out of his system. Amy spent class staring at the back of his head, missing the feeling of her fingers running through his hair, longing to see it matted to his forehead after they’d spent too much time kissing and petting, but she didn’t want to risk hurting Jane or her dad again so she tore her gaze from him when the bell rang and waited for him to leave before getting up from her desk.

 

            Steve stopped eating lunch in the cafeteria, he knew he’d falter and slide across the table from her if he let himself. Instead, he ate alone in his car, the one place he knew she wouldn’t be.  
  
            Finally, on Friday, Steve couldn’t take it anymore and he waited for her after class. She tried to brush past him, but he gently grabbed her wrist.

            “Aims.” Her name was the first thing he’d said to her all week and her heart climbed into her throat. She turned to face him, already prepared to fall apart.

            “Yeah?” was all she could manage.

            He steered her into a stairwell. “I was just curious if you were going to Tina’s tomorrow?”  

            “I am.”

            He lit up. “Cool. Then I’ll go too?”

            “It won’t change anything.” She wanted this conversation to be over. She wanted to stop looking into his hopeful eyes.

            He bit his bottom lip and tentatively brought a hand to her face. She let her cheek find its home there and nuzzled against it. He lightly pet her lips with his thumb, he so badly wanted to kiss her. “I know it won’t, but can we start talking again?”

            She grabbed his hand and took it from her face. He let his fingers interlock with hers.

            “If you cut this shit out.” She slipped her hand from his. “Do you think this is easy for me?”

            He couldn’t help himself as the defensiveness crept into his voice. “Maybe you should have kissed someone else on New Years, then,” he’d said it like it was her fault that he’d fallen in love with her.  
  
            “Maybe,” she met his tone and took a step away.

            “Amy-“

            “You know, this is really fucking hard, but if I had to do it over, I would kiss you every time.” She hurried off to class, leaving Steve to battle his heartache alone. He was hurting, but he was glad to hear it. It’s what he wanted.

           

*  
            As Amy got ready for Tina’s, she debated whether or not she should go after all. Steve was going to be there and she’d want him just as badly as she did yesterday, hell, she’d want him just as badly as the night they met. However, she wanted him that badly anyway, so she might as well go and party with her classmates, plus she was sick of being in the house.  
  
            She stopped in the living room to say goodbye to her sister before leaving. “Bye, kiddo.”

            “Bye, Amy. Don’t be late.” Amy knew not to push her luck, Jane wasn’t going to cover for her and lose the opportunity for her friends to come over tomorrow.

            Amy walked in and spotted Steve from across the room. He looked devastatingly handsome in dark grey sweater, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, pale jeans, and nearly perfect hair, except for the sneaky tendril that hung over his chocolate eyes. The only thing missing was his charming, care-free smile.  
  
            Seeing him there, she realized how many girls found him just as handsome as she did. For a boy that couldn’t make a girl stick, he was up to his elbows in them, flipping their hair and batting their eyelashes, as he stared intently into his cup.

            Rumour had it that he’d been seeing Amy, but news travels fast in high school and everyone had heard she’d dumped him. Steve was a free agent once again and if he’d been dumped twice in the last six months, he was an easy, good looking, target.

            Before Nancy, Steve would have cured all of his problems with this situation, but he didn’t treat girls like distractions anymore. He just wanted to drown his sorrows in peace. And he only had eyes for Amy.

            Then he saw her. He’d drank enough that his first reaction was to smile and he no longer cared about self-preservation. He needed to talk to her. He needed to touch her.

            He pushed through the crowd until he reached her. “Amy,” he said her name like it was magic.

            “Hi, Steve, got your hands full?” She nodded towards the living room.

            “What?” He looked back at the crowd. “No, of course not.”

            “I can’t tell you not to, so go have fun,” she sounded so disappointed.

            He frowned. “No. I seriously don’t want anyone else and if you think for a second I was going to get over you that quickly, I’m really offended.”

            “Maybe you should.”

            He searched her face, trying to understand why she’d say something so hurtful. “Why would you say that?”

            “Because what else is there? We get drunk, you take me upstairs, and Monday is that much harder?”

            “Yes.” He brought a hand to her face. “That’s exactly what we do because there’s no one else for me.” He leaned in to kiss her. She turned her cheek, trying to save herself. He kissed it anyway. Then he kissed it again. He lightly grabbed her chin and turned her face to his, so he could kiss her lips.

            She couldn’t help herself and she let him kiss her, then she leaned into it and lost her hands in his hair. It had only been a week, but she missed him so goddamn much.

            He dropped his drink and held her at the waist, keeping her impossibly close, and deepening the kiss. After a minute, she stepped back, gathering herself.

            “I’m sorry,” Steve said.

            “No, don’t be,” she brushed the hair from his eyes, “but I want to hang out with you,” she smiled.

            “Yeah, me too. Let’s go get you a drink.” He looked at the one he’d dropped on the floor. “I’m going to need another, too.”

            Hearts broke all across the living room as Steve laced his fingers with Amy’s and led her to the kitchen, beaming like a lovesick fool.

            He picked her up and sat her on the counter, squeezing in between her legs and giving her a kiss. She draped her arms around his neck and he sighed, “I hate not being around you.”

            “Me too.” Monday was going to hurt.

            He left a soft kiss on her neck. “I’ll be right back.”

            He crossed the kitchen to get her a drink, perfectly aware he was a little too drunk to keep his promise and a little too in love to course correct.

            While he waited his turn for punch, Billy Hargrove arrived.

            Things had not smoothed over since Billy kicked the shit out of Steve in November, in fact, they hated each other significantly more.

            It was fortunate the two shared no classes, but they’d tussled on the basketball court a couple of times since, nothing serious, but Billy had recently been benched for a few games until he could learn to keep his hands to himself. That really pissed him off. He was a better player than Steve and now Steve was the hero at the last three games. He needed to get even and even looked like the Chief’s daughter. He knew Steve was sweet on her and he intended to do what he could to fuck that up.

            Steve was caught up with the drinks, so he didn’t notice Billy thunder into the kitchen, but Billy noticed Amy. He’d seen her at a couple of the games and he’d spied her kissing Steve under the bleachers after practice.

            Amy hated Billy. She’d never spoken to him directly, but she had screamed at him from the stands on more than one occasion. Anytime Billy knocked Steve down, Amy would lose her temper. She’d heard how badly Billy had beat up Steve and she wanted his head.

            The look on her face as he approached her was nothing short of mortified.

            “Hey, Gorgeous,” he said.

            “What the fuck could you possibly want, Hargrove?” She shifted uncomfortably, as he pressed himself against her legs, hands on either side of her, gripping the counter.

            “Heard you dumped Harrington.”

            “I didn’t.”

            “I don’t see him.”

            “He’s literally right behind you, getting drinks.”

            “Guess he shouldn’t have left such a pretty little thing by herself.”

            “Take a step back, Billy, before I claw your face off.”

            He grunted and instead pushed himself between her knees, face impossibly close to hers. “If you wanna rebel against daddy so bad, I’m much more fun than Harrington.” He grabbed her face and kissed her. She slapped him so hard her wrist hurt.

            He took a step back, rubbing his cheek. “Wow.” He smirked. “I like you, Amy, you’re feisty.” He went to come closer, but Steve grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

            “Stay the fuck away from her, Billy.”

            “There you are, Harrington,” Billy chuckled. “I wondered when you -“ Steve had finally landed a punch. Billy wasn’t expecting it and he went down hard.

            Nobody could believe that Harrington just got one over on Hargrove and the kitchen fell completely silent.

            Steve reached for Amy and she jumped off of the counter and into his grip.

            Billy pulled himself up off the floor, radiating with fury.

            “You’re dead, Harrington.”  
  
            Amy stepped between the two of them. “Try it. I dare you.”

            The whole kitchen watched Billy weigh his options as the Chief’s daughter stood between him and his rival. He didn’t know if she was a loose enough cannon to call her dad, so he put his hands up. “Fuck this.” He disappeared into the crowd, contemplating how to get his revenge.

  
            Steve took the win. “You’re bad, Amy.”

            “I know.”

            “Wanna get outta here?” He rubbed her arm.

            “Yes.”

 

            The two wandered the streets, aimlessly. Catching up like they’d been apart for years. Holding hands like someone might come and snatch the other away. Laughing like they’d never heard a joke before.

            “Do you think your dad will ever get over himself?” Steve asked.

            “I don’t know. I mean, eventually, but I shouldn’t push my luck right now.”

            “I really don’t want to get you in trouble.”

            “We’ll just have to be friends.”

            “I’m never going to be just your friend, Aims.” He kissed the back of her hand.

            “We can pretend.” She bumped him with her shoulder.  
  
            “Can we pretend that Monday isn’t going to come?”

            “I’d like that.”

 

            Amy got home at five to twelve to find Jane curled up on the couch, fast asleep. She grabbed the blanket off of the back of the sofa and tucked her sister in. The TV remained on, Amy knew how much comfort Jane took in having the drumming noise to keep her company.  
  
            Amy tiptoed up the steps to her room and slid open her bedroom window. The love of her life toppled in, he’d been waiting for her.  
  
            “Coast clear?” he whispered, pushing himself up off of the floor.  
  
            “Yes, thank God. You’re so noisy.”  
  
            “What time is your dad home?”  
  
            “Sometime after two, but I’ll just keep the door locked.”  
  
            Steve kicked off his jeans, Amy pulled on her PJs, and they got under the covers, happy to finally spend the night together, holding each other.

            Amy kept her head to his chest, a hand gripping his sweater, and fell asleep immediately, feeling comforted, safe, and relieved. Steve was wide awake and already missing her.  
  
            “I love you,” he whispered, knowing she wouldn’t hear it.  
  
            The next morning Amy shook Steve awake and whispered, “Hey, get up, Sleepy Head.”

            He peeked at her, not ready to leave, and pulled her in for a kiss.

            “Steve, you have to go before my dad gets up.”  
  
            “Let him catch me, I don’t want to leave you yet.”

            “You’ll be leaving this life forever if he finds you.”  
  
            Steve leaned back on his elbows and frowned at the window. The sun had started to creep above the horizon and light was pouring into the room. It was time to say goodbye. “I miss you so much all the time.”

            “Me too.” She pet his cheek.

            He rolled over top of her, sweeping her hair from her face. He wanted to be as close as possible for as long as possible. He kissed her deep and let his hands tug at her pyjamas.

            “Steve, we don’t have time.”

            “Sure we do.” He pulled off his shirt. “Caution be damned. Have sex with your boyfriend.”  
  
            Every time he referred to himself as her boyfriend she couldn’t help herself. They quietly indulged in one another before he had to go and take her heart with him. The sex was exciting, forbidden, and tender. They hoped it would last forever, but as they stared into each other’s eyes, trying to tell each other they loved one another without a single word, they knew it was time for Steve to go.

            Steve pulled on his clothes and moved to the window, Amy crossed the room to see him off and he held her hand, leaving a kiss on the back of it. “Goodbye, Aims.”  
  
            They kissed, and kissed, and kissed, growing sadder each time their lips met.

            “Steve, please move back to your desk. I just want you close.”

            “I will.” He smiled, happy to have something to look forward to.  
  
            She brushed his hair from his eyes. “Goodbye.”

            He snuck out of the window and she watched him hurry down the alley towards home. Tears dripped down her cheeks and she let her heart break all over again.


	5. I Hope So

            That night when The Party arrived, Steve was in tow. The kids thundered into the kitchen, shouting over each other, leaving a trail of coats, shoes, and hats in their wake. Steve hung back by the front door, trying to scoop their mess into a manageable pile.

            Amy came over to him, coats in hand, smiling wide. “What are you doing here?”  
  
            “Pretending to be your friend. Surely an innocent game of Dungeons and Dragons isn’t against the rules?” His expression suggested otherwise. He leaned in and left a kiss on her cheek.  
  
            She tried to be angry, but her smile gave her away. “You _have_ to behave. Jane will tattle.”  
  
            “I am always well behaved.”

            “My dad is going to be home in a couple of hours,” she warned.

            “And I’ll be at the table, keeping my hands to myself.” He circled her waist and pulled her tight. “But in the meantime-“ he moved to kiss her and she put her hand up to his lips.

            “No.” She pushed him off, looking over her shoulder to make sure none of the kids saw.

            Mike scanned the table, noticing Steve’s absence. “Steve! You can make out later!”

            “Ew,” Will added.

            “Ew is Jonathan and Nancy every time we’re at your place,” Lucas said, Max nodding in agreement.

            “It’s all ew, can you guys ever keep it in your pants?” Will scrunched his nose, he wanted to play, not deal with teenage hormones.

            Steve wandered up to the table and ruffled Will’s hair. “No. You’ll understand when you’re older.” He took a seat next to Dustin, happy to be completely unbothered by talk of Jonathan and Nancy.

            “Do you sneak in Amy’s window, too?” Mike goaded.

            “He does,” Jane sold him out.

            He gaped at her. “Shut up! I don’t anymore.”  
  
            “Not since last night.” Jane’s smile was nothing short of wicked.

            “Oooooooo!” The Party crowed in unison.

            “Jane! Oh my God, please don’t tell Dad,” Amy begged, sweeping into the kitchen.

            “I won’t, if you make snacks.”  
  
            Amy accepted the role of game wench at the mercy of her younger sister and moved to the cupboards.

 

            Jim pulled up to find Steve’s car parked in front of the house. He sighed and resigned himself to the fact he’d have to make nice in front of the kids. Jim didn’t want Steve there, but he knew how much The Party, especially Dustin, would. 

            A pile of mess greeted Jim at the front door as a cacophony of sounds and the scent of buttered popcorn drifted from the kitchen. He could pick out Amy and Jane’s laughter above it all. Everything was as it should be. Almost.

            He walked into the kitchen to find Amy sitting on Steve’s lap, rolling the dice. They hadn’t heard him come in over everyone bellowing. Amy caught his eye and jumped up immediately. Everyone froze.

            Jim had a choice: tear her out and ruin everyone’s night or let it go. His mind raced as everyone stared at him. Steve looked particularly pale. Jane’s expression was the only one more pained; she didn’t want to lose her evening over Amy’s stupid boyfriend.

            “Maybe I should find you an extra chair?” was what he landed on.

            Everyone started to settle, for there was no yelling, there was no malice.

            Steve got up and said, “I’ll help you find one.”

            “No need, you kids enjoy your game.” Jim wandered down the hall to get the old wooden chair from his bedroom, one that he used as a closet when he was too tired to hang his clothes. He could hear chatter resuming, much quieter than before, and he felt sorry for himself. He’d been too hard on the girls because he was holding them so damn tight.

            Jim shuffled down the hallway, back into the kitchen, and he passed Amy the chair. He smiled meekly to her and ruffled Jane’s hair. “I’ll be watching TV if you kids need anything.”

            There was a lingering air of tension as Jim exited the kitchen, furthering his self-loathing. Settling into his armchair he hoped the laughter would resume.

            It didn’t take long as Dustin let out a loud belch to inject some levity back into the game, eliciting groans of disgust, impressed applause, and immature guffawing from the group.

            “That tasted like butter,” Dustin discovered.

            “I’m gonna barf on you,” Max added.

           

            The game carried on triumphantly, everyone saying _asshole_ and _shit_ too many times for Jim to start policing their language now. Jane got busted moving the dice with her mind for a more favourable roll, but Mike chose to honour it, earning a punch in the arm from Lucas.

            “Mike, that’s not fair,” Steve complained, as he was most affected by the roll.

            “Life isn’t fair, Steve,” Mike retorted.

            Steve couldn’t help but pout, so Amy leaned over and left a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

            Jim had been stealing a peek into the kitchen and he watched as Steve’s face lit up looking at Amy. He looked at her like she held the stars in the sky. Steve brought Amy’s hand to his face and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Her smile told Jim one thing: she was completely in love with Steve Harrington.

           

            At nine o’ clock, Amy and Steve wrangled The Party out the door. The kids hurried to Steve’s car, Dustin claiming shotgun. Steve hung back on the porch to say goodnight to Amy.

            “I’ll see you tomorrow, Aims.” He brushed her hair behind her ear, leaving his hand cupping her face. She took a step forward, closing the space between them, and kissed him goodbye. He smiled against her lips, feeling warmth creeping up his cheeks. He pulled her a little closer, resting his hands on her hips. He kissed her like it was New Years all over again. Fireworks and all.

            They heard the sound of knuckles on glass and turned to see Jim, peeking through the curtains of the picture window at them, shaking a finger ‘no’.

            Steve dropped his hands from Amy’s waist, but she clung tight to his sweater, wanting to keep him for every possible second. “Goodnight, Steve.”

            Dustin honked the horn; curfew was nigh. Steve looked back to the car. “Well, I gotta run, Aims.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, turned, and rushed to his BMW. She watched him leave; it was her least favourite thing to see.

            “I love you,” she whispered, knowing he wouldn’t hear it.

             
            Amy was sure that her father would have something scathing to say by the time she came back in the house. Instead, she found him, brow knit, puffing a cigarette from his armchair. He looked deep in thought.

            “Hey, Dad, I didn’t know Steve was going to be coming over,” she started to explain.

            “It’s fine, Amy.” Jim didn’t pull his attention from the TV, even though he was staring through it.

            “Ok, well, goodnight,” she said, sheepishly. She could feel the tension radiating from the armchair, but this time Jim wasn’t fighting her. This was different. He was pensive.

            “Goodnight.”

            “Love you, Dad,” she added, before heading up the stairs.

            This brought Jim’s attention from the TV, a warm smile dissipating his worried thoughts. “Love you, too, kiddo.”  
  
  
*  
  
  
            Amy was thrilled to see Steve sitting at his desk, next to hers, where he belonged. He bit his bottom lip upon seeing her, but it didn’t stop a goofy smile from creeping across mouth.

            “Hey, Aims.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her down to meet his lips before she took her seat.

            “Hey, handsome.” She pulled back and sat down.

            “Did I get you in trouble last night?” His worry was sincere.

            “Surprisingly no, maybe a couple more well behaved games of D and D and my dad will be over himself.”

            “I hope so.”

 

            After school, Amy went to watch basketball practice, which meant Steve was too distracted to notice Billy, who was already aching for revenge, hurtling the ball at his face. Steve blinked the tears pooling in his eyes and felt the blood trickling down his lips and chin. He brought a hand to his face, as reality washed over him.

            “Steve!” Amy called from the bleachers, mad as hell, and determined to have Billy’s head.

            Billy goaded him, “Catching the ball with your face now, Harrington?”

            Steve wiped his nose on the back of his hand and tackled Billy to the floor. The testosterone got to the boys on the court and pretty soon both teams, despite being on the same team outside of practice, started taking sides and wailing on each other.

            Billy rolled over and pinned Steve, bringing a fist above his head, ready to knock Steve’s light out. Steve remembered what it was like to be on the receiving end of Billy’s unrelenting fury and he braced himself. But Amy grabbed Billy’s wrist before he had a chance to take a swing. She pulled Billy off of Steve and Billy shoved her hard enough that she toppled backwards and crashed to the floor. Steve was furious and dove for Billy once again, but this time, Coach Masters, caught him by the back of his shirt and yanked him to standing. Steve twisted out of his grip and helped Amy up.

            “You ok, Aims?” he asked, worriedly giving her a once over.

            “I’m ok.” She wiped at the blood on Steve’s lip with her t-shirt.

            “Your bitch is pretty loyal, Harrington,” Billy taunted. Steve moved to take a step towards him, fire in his eyes, but Amy held him back.

            Coach Masters shouted, “Hargrove, you’re done for the next three weeks. Harrington, you’re benched for the next game. And as for the rest of you, practice is over.” He looked past Billy’s hateful expression to Amy. “Miss Spencer, you can join the three of us in the principal’s office.”

           

            This time, Jim made the journey to the school. He burst through the door of Principal Hendricks’ office where Amy was still waiting. Steve chose to wait with her, prepared to take the blame.

            “Amy, I’ll meet you in the truck.” It wasn’t a suggestion.

            “Dad-“

            “Now, Amy,” Jim barked.

            She looked to Steve, hating whatever was about to come, and then she travelled out the door and down the hall.

            Jim turned his attention to Principal Hendricks. “May we have the room?”

            Principal Hendricks wanted to be involved about as much as he wanted a hole in the head, so he nodded and swept out of the room without another word. Steve watched him go, realizing he was without allies. He looked to Jim, who was seething.

            Jim grabbed Steve by the front of his shirt and pulled him out of his chair. “You really are stupid, Steve.”

            Steve batted at his hands. “She just came to watch practice.”

            “You’ve landed my daughter in the principal’s office twice since January and you’re going to stay away from her.”

            “No,” he said, defiantly.

            “Excuse me?”

            “I won’t. She’s an adult and if she wants to see me, she should.”

            “No, Steve, she won’t. Because I won’t have my daughter corrupted by your irresponsible bullshit. You’re a loser and she deserves better.”

            Jim’s words hurt more than the stinging pain of his battered face. Steve was terrified that he’d amount to nothing as he’d watched everyone surpass him over the last six months. Jonathan had Nancy. Billy had his crown. What Steve had was Amy and she was worth more than anything to him. And now he wasn’t good enough for her, either. He was wasted potential. He was a fuckup. He was a loser.

            Jim let go of his shirt and stared him down. Steve didn’t meet his eye.

            Jim slammed the door to the office on his way out, leaving Steve with what little opinion he had left of himself.

           

            Steve walked to his car, pausing when he got inside to look at himself in the rear view mirror, blood caked under his nose, a small split running through his bottom lip, marring his handsome face. He hated what he saw. He was a defeated shell of himself.

            When Steve threw himself into being a good boyfriend, he lost his place at the top of the food chain. When he was no longer a good boyfriend, he lost his identity. Steve didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t giving himself to someone or everyone. Then he’d met Amy, she didn’t know about the last eighteen years of his extended performance piece aimed at being loved. She liked him for who he was. And who he was wasn’t good enough for her. Every part of him suddenly screamed for him to run. She might think he was good enough right now, but as Jim’s words twisted around his heart, Steve knew she’d come around and see things her father’s way. She’d see Steve for what he really was. A nobody.

 


	6. So Am I

      Amy sat quietly, picking at her fingernails, while her father vibrated with fury from the driver’s seat.  
  
      “I don’t need to tell you how disappointed I am,” he seethed.  
  
      “You’re right, you don’t.”  
  
      “Watch the lip, young lady.” Jim white knuckled the steering wheel. “You are never dating Steve.”  
  
      “Dad, I love Steve,” Amy confessed, praying this would change everything.  
  
      It didn’t and Jim’s heart crumbled as his rage peaked. “No, you don’t. You’ve been here for less than six months and you’re going to fall in love with the first loser that smiled at you? Christ, Amy, aim higher.”  
  
      Angry tears rolled down her cheeks, he’d never understand. “Steve is a great person.”  
  
      “Who’s going absolutely nowhere.”  
  
      “Yeah, I wonder what it’s like to rot in Hawkins. I wonder what kind of man would end up like that.”  
  
      He suddenly remembered very clearly what fighting with Evelyn was like and he remembered how they’d driven each other away, so instead of exploding, he sat quietly and let Amy stew with her unrelenting disdain for him. He could have the last word later.   
  


      Steve wandered past the living room, neither of his parents acknowledging the blood on his face as he went, unless he wanted to accept their disappointed looks as acknowledgement.   
  
      By the time he reached his bedroom, he’d hit numb. He’d accepted that he was nothing. It wasn’t true, but the last time someone stood firmly in Steve’s corner, it had been himself. And he didn’t have the fight left to do it again.   
  
*  
      Amy hurried to Steve’s locker before class started. She’d spent all night pining and agonizing about how to smooth things over between him and her father, but first she wanted to touch him.  
  
     He didn’t turn when she came up to him, he didn’t smile when she brushed the cut on his lip with her thumb, and he didn’t return the sentiment when she kissed him. Instead, he grabbed her wrist, took her hand from his face, pulled back, and he shut his locker.  
  
      “Steve, don’t be upset with me,” she peeped.  
  
      “I’m not.” He walked away, punishing her for his self-hatred.  
  
  
      Amy Spencer was effectively sick of everyone’s shit. It wasn’t her fault her dad had lost his goddamn mind, it wasn’t her fault that Steve was a mess, and it wasn’t her fault that life had dealt her a shit hand. All she knew was that she was tired of taking a hit every time she tried to be happy. So she tossed her books in her locker, skipped class, and decided to smoke under the bleachers.  
  
      But she wasn’t alone. Billy had the same idea that morning and spotted her from across the track. He sauntered over despite the hatred painted on her face.  
  
     “Spencer, shouldn’t you be in class?” He handed her his lighter. She glared, but she accepted and lit her cigarette.  
  
     “I should. Shouldn’t you be in prison?” She handed him back his lighter.  
  
     He laughed. “Probably.” He glanced around. “Where’s Harrington?”  
  
     “Why? You wanna ask him on a date?”  
  
     “Might wanna ask you.”  
  
     “I’ll save you the trouble: not a goddamn chance.”  
  
     He took a seat beside her and they smoked in silence. She wanted to tear his hair out for being the catalyst in what she was sure was Steve’s current meltdown. He wanted to kiss her to be the catalyst in what he was sure would be Steve’s next meltdown.  
  
     She tossed her smoke and moved to get up, but Billy grabbed her wrist. “You’re going to get bored of him. They all do.”  
  
     She tugged her wrist from his uncomfortable grip, trying to stop herself from punching Billy’s smug face. “I’m not all of them.” With that she wandered back inside.  
  
  
     Steve stared at Amy’s empty seat, knowing he was the reason she chose to skip. He thought about all the blame he’d take for that if Jim heard about it and he soured further. He had to get in front of the heartbreak Amy dumping him would bring. He had to save himself. And he had to let her find someone worth a damn. It was time to lose.   
  
  
     Steve found Amy at lunch. His heart flipped just seeing her. He loved her so much. This was going to hurt.   
     This time she didn’t turn when he slid beside her.  
  
     “Amy, I wanted to talk to you.”  
  
     “That’s funny, seemed like the opposite this morning.”  
  
     He put a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t want to break up with her in public. “Amy, can we talk in my car? It’s important.”  
  
     She assumed they’d have a fight, kiss, and make up, so she nodded and followed him to the parking lot.  
  
  
      Steve stared at her sitting there and thought about every time their lips had found each other in this car. About every confession, every caress, and every minute they’d shared here. He hated what was coming and he couldn’t even look her in the eye to do it.  
  
      “Amy, I can’t see you anymore.”  
  
      “Steve, don’t be stupid,” she purred, certain she could talk him down from the edge. She ran a hand through his hair. “I get that this is hard, but-”  
  
      “No, Amy. I don’t want to do this.”  
  
      She hadn’t expected this. “Why would you say that?”  
  
      “It’s-” he looked at her, losing his nerve, wanting to pull her tight, “-it’s just not going to work out.”  
  
      She started to tremble. This had to be undone. This wasn’t her Steve. She reached for his face. “But Steve, I love you.”  
  
     His heart wretched and he felt sick. He couldn’t believe he was going to lie to her face and break her hopeful, bleeding heart. Especially when all he’d wanted was to tell her how much he loved her, too. When all he’d ever hoped was that she felt this way about him. He steeled himself and pushed through it. “I don’t.”  
  
      He knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of this situation and he fell apart inside as she started to cry. He’d broken the love of his life’s heart because he was too scared to prove everyone wrong.   
  
      Amy wanted to scramble, but instead she sat next to the boy she’d been hopeful about, paralyzed by heartache, and she wept.  
  
      He tentatively reached a hand towards her, wanting to comfort her, wanting to comfort himself, and she slapped it away.  
  
      “I’m so sorry, Amy.”  
  
      “So am I.” Hatred replaced despair. She couldn’t believe how flawlessly he’d faked his feelings. She was certain he’d loved her, too. She was certain of him.  
  
      She wiped her face on her sweater and slunk out of his car.  
  
      He watched her standing in the parking lot, looking lost, and he started to cry.  
  
  
      At the end of the day, Steve was careful to avoid Amy. He didn’t want to make things any worse than he already had.  
  
      Unfortunately, he couldn’t help but notice her as he walked to his car. They made eye contact and in that moment he decided his mistake was too painful and he was going to undo it, just as swiftly as he’d pulled the trigger. He hesitated for a second before taking a step in her direction and it was in that moment she turned on him completely. She whipped around and started to walk away.  
  
      Then she decided to hurt every man in her life as much as possible and she called across the parking lot. “Hargrove! Give me a ride!”  
  
     Billy lit up. “Thought you’d never ask. Move that cute little ass, Spencer.” He leaned over the roof of his Camaro and smiled at her as she approached. He could see Steve twisting from across the lot, his face locked in horror and regret.  
  
      Steve called to her, “Amy!”  
  
      She didn’t bother to turn around as she slid insider of Billy’s car. Billy gave him a cocky nod before getting inside. “Have a good day, Harrington!”  
  
      Steve watched them tear out of the lot and he hated himself. “Amy! Fuck. I’m so sorry. I love you!” He said it, praying this time she’d hear it.


End file.
